Well, 2020 will certainly be a year we won’t forget! If anyone had predicted at the start of the year that we would have spent half of it locked down in our homes, that our hands would be red raw with overuse of antiseptic hand-gel, that we wouldn’t be able to hug (and possible even see) our loved ones and that we would all be wearing masks, I think we would have had them committed!

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2020 : A year we won’t forget

And yet, here we are!

It also makes me think of those career interview questions “Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?” I very much doubt that anyone asked that in 2015 would have got it right!

a year we won't forget

However, I want to finish the year on a positive note and so, I want to share with you today all the good things I have learned from 2020.

To let go of the things I can’t control

Holding on to things we can’t control can cause us a great deal of stress and unhappiness. It also keeps us from growing, living a balanced life and feeling fulfilled, and yet many of us act as if we have control over our environment and other people.

The biggest lesson I learned in 2020 was that in reality, the only thing we have control over is ourselves!

2020-a year we won't forget

Yes,  it can be incredibly stressful and upsetting to feel at the whim of the outside world and susceptible to things we can’t control, including the COVID pandemic. And often, our instinctive reaction is to try and protect ourselves from (what feels like) certain doom.

So, we try to make sense out of chaos, predict outcomes and hold on to everything that is familiar, even if it’s not working for us!

But, the truth is that we can control very little in life. Covid pandemic aside, there are so many other things we can’t control even in areas of our life we’re supposed to, such as the work place and our relationships. And going back to the beginning, we have no control over our start in life, where we are born, our parents, our education…….

When faced with this, some people (myself included until now) will enter control-freak mode, thinking that if we can control enough we can avoid potential harm. But, actually we’re just adding to our stress and overwhelm!

When we accept that we can’t control the outside world, we can start to let go of the worry, and begin investing that worrying time into something more beneficial, such as walking in nature, doing a spa day at home, starting a new hobby and spending time with our family.

Let it go; a year we won't forget

Because, whether we like it or not, bad things, like Covid, are going to happen and accepting that makes it a lot easier when they do. Which brings me to my second point.

That we always have a choice

I may not have any control over the event (in this case the pandemic) but I DO have a choice as to how I react to it.

We always have choices, and we are exercising them every minute and every second of every day, from the moment we wake up!

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand

Randy Pausch

You may already have heard of The success formula:

E + R = O (Events + Responses = Outcome)

The idea is that every outcome you experience in life is the result of how you have responded to an earlier event in your life. Likewise, if you want to change the results you get in the future, you must change how you respond to events in your life … starting today.

When people don’t like the outcomes they are experiencing, most choose to blame the event (E) for their lack of results (O).

In other words, you blame the pandemic, the government, the economy, the weather, your boss, your wife or husband, the lack of support, and so on – but never yourself!

Of course, these factors exist and of course they have an effect on you. However, the key is not the external conditions and circumstances. It’s how you choose to respond (R).

If you want a different outcome(O) you need to change your response (R) to the event (E). You can change your thinking, your behaviour, your beliefs and your actions; ie: what you believe, think and do.

If you keep thinking that you have no choice over your situation, that’s exactly how it will remain. You will always remain powerless over your life circumstances. Nothing’s going to change until you take ownership for what’s going on in your life.

So, to give a very simple example, it would be easy to blame Covid for not meeting your fitness goals because the gym was closed. So Covid triggered the closing of the gym (E) and the outcome (O) was that you didn’t meet your fitness goals because you didn’t go to the gym (R).

But, what if you changed your response (R) and started running, doing home workouts, subscribed to a YouTube Zumba class….. there are a number of actions you could take that would enable you to have the desired outcome of fitness (O).

To practice gratitude

2020-a year we won't forget

The benefits of practicing gratitude are well documented. People who regularly practice gratitude by taking time to reflect upon the things they’re thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems.

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.

Oprah winfrey

Research by UC Davis psychologist Robert Emmons, author of “Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier“, shows that simply keeping a gratitude journal—regularly writing brief reflections on moments for which we’re thankful—can significantly increase well‑being and life satisfaction.

And this brings me to an invitation to jumpstart 2021 with a fun challenge!

I will be holding a “New Year, New You” free Challenge for the month of January, in collaboration with Ceri Wheeldon from Fabafterfifty.co.uk, where we will be inspiring women to take daily small steps out of their comfort zone and try new things. This will include lifestyle and style challenges and will be a lot of fun.

I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.     

J. B. Priestly

In the meantime, if you would like some tips on how to cope with lockdown and coming out of lockdown, have a look here and here. And, if any of you are struggling, please reach out as I’m happy to offer any support I can!